Happy Fathers' Day

During today's sermon a part of the message touched on the fact that an increasing number of people don't live in "ideal" family situations- broken families, conflicts, abuse, teen pregnancies, etc. The speaker made the point that she had been made aware of all this through her friends, counselling course and so on, and it made her more thankful that God had blessed her with such a loving family where she never had insecurities or fears.

I thought back to my own family. As a kid my parents were always fighting. My parents loved me, but they always fought with each other, and there was frequently talk of separation. My Dad had a pretty violent, explosive temper, but I adored him. As a young teen my family situation worsened. Betrayal lead to humiliation and separation. Although my parents weren't together the fights were worse. There was a lot of bitterness, unforgiveness and poison. My Dad hurt my family a lot, and he manipulated my brother a lot. There was no clean end. It was dragged out over several years. I hated what my Dad had become. I hated the way he hurt us, especially my Mum. And I hated the way he was hurting himself.

As a young christian one of the big challenges I faced was forgiving my Dad. It was extremely hard. It is hard to forgive someone who was constantly hurting the people you love most, including himself. How can you not feel angry as you watch them destroy their own lives? It took several attempts, but I forgave him. I forgave not because he deserved it, but because I loved him.

Looking back, I think of my family situation and I think of the words spoken today. Being in a family is supposed to be a taste of what is to come in heaven. My family situation could be better likened to a taste of hell, perhaps. But I wouldn't exhange my family, with all it's flaws, for anything else. All the hatred, humiliation, confusion, sadness, mistrust, betrayal, violence, fear, insecurity, guilt, condemnation... I would not trade these for a better past or another family. I thank God that He blessed me with such a family, and I still love them very much, inspite of (or perhaps because of) what we have been through.

I wish a very happy Fathers' Day to my Dad, and pray that God will bless him very much.