My economic crisis (when I die it's Sam's fault)

With the world economy in crisis many people are left asking "can it get worse?", "when will it get worse?", "how long will it last?", "how will it affect me?" and "how will I survive?"

We can only speculate on the answers to such questions. This isn't a class test where we can go and sneak the answer sheet from the teacher's desk. No! This is real life, and we won't know the answers until we live it out.

While I hate to be a pessimist, I find that sometimes the best way to get through hardships is to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. So how does one prepare for the complete economic downfall of the world? The answer... squirrels!

Think about it. Every year they make a secret stash of goodies to get them through the times when goodies are scarce. I'm ingenious and modest, and realised this was the only way to survive. Following the Way of the Squirrel, I made my own secret stash. Actually, I had two secret stashes. I carefully hoarded baby chocolate easter eggs (only the fruit and nut kind because they're more nutritious) so when things get rough I'll be able to survive.

Sam found my chocolate caches. Sam threw them away. Sam does not understand the Way of the Squirrel. Now I'm doomed and it's all her fault. She can pay for my funeral.