And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
I really thank God that today we drove 2 hours out of the city to our field site to find that the water level of the creek had risen so much that there was no way I could safely cross it. This was after discovering the lock had rusted so that the key wouldn't work in it so I had to climb through a hole in the fence. Basically a whole day was wasted- 4 hours driving total and I couldn't check my experiments, I couldn't help my colleague bring her tanks back to the lab, and I couldn't decant excess contaminated water from my experiments. I REALLY THANK GOD FOR THIS.
Why? Wasn't my day stuffed?
A couple of Wednesdays back I started feeling upset in my tummy. That Friday I went out in the field to help collect sediments from a fire-affected site. My tummy started feeling really upset. By the time we then drove to my experiment to rescue it from being flooded, I was secretly wanting to die, that's how much it hurt. The pain lessened on Saturday, and for the following week it was generally okay. My tummy felt tight, like I'd pulled a muscle, on the right side. Sometimes the pain spread, and often when I felt hungry I found I couldn't eat very much without feeling ill. It was mostly a background ache that occasionally made my hip sore.
I started feeling sicker again yesterday, so when I found out field work was postponed I bit the bullet and got it checked out. They're still running tests. Today I also woke up feeling sick. It's now causing my ribs to hurt.
I thank God because I really don't know how well I could have handled a full day of heavy lifting. Even dragging my wader-wearing body through fast waters would have been strenuous. God has protected me and kept me out of a situation my body may not have been able to handle. Yay! He is cool =)
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Not everyone can keep their marbles.
Someone has lost their mind.
Again.
Someone put carrot peelings in the fridge.
Someone intended to put them in the rubbish bin.
Clearly, the rubbish bin and the fridge have a lot of similarities.
At least this time she didn't put chewing gum in the freezer. Or pepper in the fridge. Or commit other bizarre acts of absent-mindedness.
Again.
Someone put carrot peelings in the fridge.
Someone intended to put them in the rubbish bin.
Clearly, the rubbish bin and the fridge have a lot of similarities.
At least this time she didn't put chewing gum in the freezer. Or pepper in the fridge. Or commit other bizarre acts of absent-mindedness.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
How can this be?! =(
I have been watching The Life of Mammals, a beautifully made series on, surprise surprise, mammals. And it is beautiful, visually and in the approach it takes to looking at the diverse range of mammals in existence. Not to mention it's narrated by David Attenborough. I love that man.
I was really excited when I reached episode 5, Meat Eaters. I love carnivores even more than I love David. Seriously, some of the most gorgeous, intelligent and charismatic animals ever are fluffy with sharp teeth. I find there is something dangerously attractive about wolves, tigers, foxes and so on. And this episode was awesome. It even included a section on African wild dogs, which have absolutely amazing social structures and hunting skills. They are the most successful of all mammalian hunters, with a kill rate over 80% (wolves only have about a 10% kill rate, I think).
Sorry, I'm getting sidetracked. Anyway, everything was awesome until David started talking about hyenas. AND HE MADE AN ERROR! He said that hyenas belonged to the dog tribe. Actually, hyenas belong to the cat suborder (shocking but true).
Hyenas are more closely related to cats than dogs. A bit of reading confirmed that David Attenborough was in fact wrong. Below is a diagram of the truth:
If you don't trust the awesome phylogeny I drew, google search "hyena phylogeny" and you will see that I am right.
Anyway, despite being wrong, I still like David, I still loved that episode, and I still look forward to watching the rest of the series.
I was really excited when I reached episode 5, Meat Eaters. I love carnivores even more than I love David. Seriously, some of the most gorgeous, intelligent and charismatic animals ever are fluffy with sharp teeth. I find there is something dangerously attractive about wolves, tigers, foxes and so on. And this episode was awesome. It even included a section on African wild dogs, which have absolutely amazing social structures and hunting skills. They are the most successful of all mammalian hunters, with a kill rate over 80% (wolves only have about a 10% kill rate, I think).
Sorry, I'm getting sidetracked. Anyway, everything was awesome until David started talking about hyenas. AND HE MADE AN ERROR! He said that hyenas belonged to the dog tribe. Actually, hyenas belong to the cat suborder (shocking but true).
Hyenas are more closely related to cats than dogs. A bit of reading confirmed that David Attenborough was in fact wrong. Below is a diagram of the truth:
If you don't trust the awesome phylogeny I drew, google search "hyena phylogeny" and you will see that I am right.
Anyway, despite being wrong, I still like David, I still loved that episode, and I still look forward to watching the rest of the series.
Friday, September 11, 2009
It's a boy! And a girl! And stuff!
Congratulations to Sam, who is the delighted mother of 10+ babies, each weighing a healthy 2-5g! Their proud father, Kallie, was shocked by their arrival into the world.
"I didn't even realise Sam was bringing them home," she grinned. "They're very beautiful. Some are stripey. It's awesome."
I questioned how this growing abnormal family planned on functioning.
"It's harder than with stick insects. I mean, the boys were easy to provide for. I fed them. Sam educated them. Our new babies are a lot fussier, so it means we both have to work to meet their needs. I imagine Sam will still take them to school. I'll read them Thomas books!"
Photos of the new arrivals to follow soon.
"I didn't even realise Sam was bringing them home," she grinned. "They're very beautiful. Some are stripey. It's awesome."
I questioned how this growing abnormal family planned on functioning.
"It's harder than with stick insects. I mean, the boys were easy to provide for. I fed them. Sam educated them. Our new babies are a lot fussier, so it means we both have to work to meet their needs. I imagine Sam will still take them to school. I'll read them Thomas books!"
Photos of the new arrivals to follow soon.
Monday, September 7, 2009
my heart is a monster
"We have to fix up the experiment," Matt said.
We'd just set it up. A feeling of dread came over me. I didn't want to go back out again. It didn't seem right. I didn't say anything and got back in the car. There were no other cars on the road, the white painted lines clearly visible against its dark surface. The road curved between tall eucalypts. Their trunks were silver and stark, their canopies thick, obscuring the mountains behind them. Tree ferns snuggled beneath the gums. At a familiar corner I looked to the right and caught a glimpse of the creek.
"This is where we set up, right?" I said anxiously, recognising the location but not remembering. I swore there was a sand bar before.
"Hmm... yes, I can see the tanks through the trees," called my ex-supervisor from the back seat.
She was right. Glimpses of the white tanks could be seen through the trees. The trees gave way to sand and Matt stopped the car. Another ute was already parked nearby and my colleagues were pulling things from the back. We grabbed some stuff and began to walk over the sand.
A cold hand gripped my heart. This felt wrong. I tried to ignore the feelings and followed my colleagues across the sand. It was difficult to walk at first, and then it got easier. I glanced down to see why and felt sick. The sand was compacted, and I saw we were walking on a burial ground. Burial grounds were cursed. We were walking on one. We were cursed. I began praying out loud.
"In Jesus name I break this curse. In Jesus name I break this curse."
I was scared, unsettled and the feelings wouldn't leave, but I saw that my colleagues weren't paying attention and continued walking, so I hurried up to them. We began setting up the white tanks. I went into a white weatherboard house to fix up some broken pieces. All of the furniture in the house was white or covered in white cloth. Other colleagues were also doing things.
It was comforting to know I wasn't in the house alone. I went into a bedroom and sat on the floor. There was a puzzle of a tiger on a green background, incomplete. To finish it I needed to make white puzzle pieces out of clay. I began forming them in my hands and fell asleep. I woke up. The door was closed. There were strange noises in the ceiling above me. It was probably just possums. I was all alone. I was terrified. I jumped to my feet and struggled to open the door.
"Someone help me! Please!" I cried. The door opened and I ran outside onto the wide verandah.
Scared but feeling silly, I leaned on the railing and stared across the white beach at the cerulean water of the sea. People were wading in the calm water, mending pieces of the experiment. I climbed down the stairs.
"People can't work on the other side. It's too rough," a boy informed me.
I turned to look at him. He was strangely beautiful, with golden white hair and icy blue eyes. I then glanced behind the house. The house was on a sandy bar. On either side was the sea. The house was facing the calm sea. Behind the house the waves were huge and the water choppy. Occasionally a large wave would wash right over the sandy bar. It was overwhelming.
A wave began to grow, and as it did fear grew in my heart. The boy and I looked at each other, then we quickly clambered back up the stairs. The house had become a black van on tall stilts. We grabbed onto the railing of the verandah and prepared for the worst. Looking up, we could see the massive black wave building up behind the house. The crest began to break into white foam. It was towering over us. Surely we would die. The house began to shake and, holding my breath, I held tightly onto the rail.
Surprisingly, the wave passed underneath the house. I watched its dark water flow through gaps in the floorboards. Everyone on the beach would have been killed. The boy smiled at me reassuringly. Shaken, I went into the house. There were books everywhere. I needed to finish making puzzle pieces, but the light was really dim. I began to set up lamps around the desk.
"Will there still be enough light for me to see?" my sister asked.
She was perched on a stool nearby. I nodded, then sat down. My Mum's little black dog, Jedda, ran into the room and I patted her. It felt good to touch her. She was soft and warm. I missed her, and her little dark presence was the most comforting thing. It was like a little flame had been lit in the cold darkness.
You might be confused by all this. You're not the only one. This was the dream I had last night. It seems ridiculous now while I try to write it, but at the time it was so vivid, so brightly coloured, so real, so scary. The overwhelming fear I felt throughout it was real. It was like there was something constantly dark in it, and I couldn't feel safe. I often have weird dreams, and bad dreams, but they're rarely this vivid. And I could actually feel my Mum's dog. This is pretty amazing. She has been dead for 9 years. I miss her. I feel like crying.
Today was Zac's birthday. Maybe that's why it's getting to me. I miss my Zac. I don't know why I'm writing this. I don't care.
We'd just set it up. A feeling of dread came over me. I didn't want to go back out again. It didn't seem right. I didn't say anything and got back in the car. There were no other cars on the road, the white painted lines clearly visible against its dark surface. The road curved between tall eucalypts. Their trunks were silver and stark, their canopies thick, obscuring the mountains behind them. Tree ferns snuggled beneath the gums. At a familiar corner I looked to the right and caught a glimpse of the creek.
"This is where we set up, right?" I said anxiously, recognising the location but not remembering. I swore there was a sand bar before.
"Hmm... yes, I can see the tanks through the trees," called my ex-supervisor from the back seat.
She was right. Glimpses of the white tanks could be seen through the trees. The trees gave way to sand and Matt stopped the car. Another ute was already parked nearby and my colleagues were pulling things from the back. We grabbed some stuff and began to walk over the sand.
A cold hand gripped my heart. This felt wrong. I tried to ignore the feelings and followed my colleagues across the sand. It was difficult to walk at first, and then it got easier. I glanced down to see why and felt sick. The sand was compacted, and I saw we were walking on a burial ground. Burial grounds were cursed. We were walking on one. We were cursed. I began praying out loud.
"In Jesus name I break this curse. In Jesus name I break this curse."
I was scared, unsettled and the feelings wouldn't leave, but I saw that my colleagues weren't paying attention and continued walking, so I hurried up to them. We began setting up the white tanks. I went into a white weatherboard house to fix up some broken pieces. All of the furniture in the house was white or covered in white cloth. Other colleagues were also doing things.
It was comforting to know I wasn't in the house alone. I went into a bedroom and sat on the floor. There was a puzzle of a tiger on a green background, incomplete. To finish it I needed to make white puzzle pieces out of clay. I began forming them in my hands and fell asleep. I woke up. The door was closed. There were strange noises in the ceiling above me. It was probably just possums. I was all alone. I was terrified. I jumped to my feet and struggled to open the door.
"Someone help me! Please!" I cried. The door opened and I ran outside onto the wide verandah.
Scared but feeling silly, I leaned on the railing and stared across the white beach at the cerulean water of the sea. People were wading in the calm water, mending pieces of the experiment. I climbed down the stairs.
"People can't work on the other side. It's too rough," a boy informed me.
I turned to look at him. He was strangely beautiful, with golden white hair and icy blue eyes. I then glanced behind the house. The house was on a sandy bar. On either side was the sea. The house was facing the calm sea. Behind the house the waves were huge and the water choppy. Occasionally a large wave would wash right over the sandy bar. It was overwhelming.
A wave began to grow, and as it did fear grew in my heart. The boy and I looked at each other, then we quickly clambered back up the stairs. The house had become a black van on tall stilts. We grabbed onto the railing of the verandah and prepared for the worst. Looking up, we could see the massive black wave building up behind the house. The crest began to break into white foam. It was towering over us. Surely we would die. The house began to shake and, holding my breath, I held tightly onto the rail.
Surprisingly, the wave passed underneath the house. I watched its dark water flow through gaps in the floorboards. Everyone on the beach would have been killed. The boy smiled at me reassuringly. Shaken, I went into the house. There were books everywhere. I needed to finish making puzzle pieces, but the light was really dim. I began to set up lamps around the desk.
"Will there still be enough light for me to see?" my sister asked.
She was perched on a stool nearby. I nodded, then sat down. My Mum's little black dog, Jedda, ran into the room and I patted her. It felt good to touch her. She was soft and warm. I missed her, and her little dark presence was the most comforting thing. It was like a little flame had been lit in the cold darkness.
You might be confused by all this. You're not the only one. This was the dream I had last night. It seems ridiculous now while I try to write it, but at the time it was so vivid, so brightly coloured, so real, so scary. The overwhelming fear I felt throughout it was real. It was like there was something constantly dark in it, and I couldn't feel safe. I often have weird dreams, and bad dreams, but they're rarely this vivid. And I could actually feel my Mum's dog. This is pretty amazing. She has been dead for 9 years. I miss her. I feel like crying.
Today was Zac's birthday. Maybe that's why it's getting to me. I miss my Zac. I don't know why I'm writing this. I don't care.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Happy Fathers' Day
During today's sermon a part of the message touched on the fact that an increasing number of people don't live in "ideal" family situations- broken families, conflicts, abuse, teen pregnancies, etc. The speaker made the point that she had been made aware of all this through her friends, counselling course and so on, and it made her more thankful that God had blessed her with such a loving family where she never had insecurities or fears.
I thought back to my own family. As a kid my parents were always fighting. My parents loved me, but they always fought with each other, and there was frequently talk of separation. My Dad had a pretty violent, explosive temper, but I adored him. As a young teen my family situation worsened. Betrayal lead to humiliation and separation. Although my parents weren't together the fights were worse. There was a lot of bitterness, unforgiveness and poison. My Dad hurt my family a lot, and he manipulated my brother a lot. There was no clean end. It was dragged out over several years. I hated what my Dad had become. I hated the way he hurt us, especially my Mum. And I hated the way he was hurting himself.
As a young christian one of the big challenges I faced was forgiving my Dad. It was extremely hard. It is hard to forgive someone who was constantly hurting the people you love most, including himself. How can you not feel angry as you watch them destroy their own lives? It took several attempts, but I forgave him. I forgave not because he deserved it, but because I loved him.
Looking back, I think of my family situation and I think of the words spoken today. Being in a family is supposed to be a taste of what is to come in heaven. My family situation could be better likened to a taste of hell, perhaps. But I wouldn't exhange my family, with all it's flaws, for anything else. All the hatred, humiliation, confusion, sadness, mistrust, betrayal, violence, fear, insecurity, guilt, condemnation... I would not trade these for a better past or another family. I thank God that He blessed me with such a family, and I still love them very much, inspite of (or perhaps because of) what we have been through.
I wish a very happy Fathers' Day to my Dad, and pray that God will bless him very much.
I thought back to my own family. As a kid my parents were always fighting. My parents loved me, but they always fought with each other, and there was frequently talk of separation. My Dad had a pretty violent, explosive temper, but I adored him. As a young teen my family situation worsened. Betrayal lead to humiliation and separation. Although my parents weren't together the fights were worse. There was a lot of bitterness, unforgiveness and poison. My Dad hurt my family a lot, and he manipulated my brother a lot. There was no clean end. It was dragged out over several years. I hated what my Dad had become. I hated the way he hurt us, especially my Mum. And I hated the way he was hurting himself.
As a young christian one of the big challenges I faced was forgiving my Dad. It was extremely hard. It is hard to forgive someone who was constantly hurting the people you love most, including himself. How can you not feel angry as you watch them destroy their own lives? It took several attempts, but I forgave him. I forgave not because he deserved it, but because I loved him.
Looking back, I think of my family situation and I think of the words spoken today. Being in a family is supposed to be a taste of what is to come in heaven. My family situation could be better likened to a taste of hell, perhaps. But I wouldn't exhange my family, with all it's flaws, for anything else. All the hatred, humiliation, confusion, sadness, mistrust, betrayal, violence, fear, insecurity, guilt, condemnation... I would not trade these for a better past or another family. I thank God that He blessed me with such a family, and I still love them very much, inspite of (or perhaps because of) what we have been through.
I wish a very happy Fathers' Day to my Dad, and pray that God will bless him very much.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Said He doesn't remember anything about a wall
God has been pretty good to me lately, so I need to share it! Okay, here we go:
1. It's okay to be forgetful when your Father in heaven remembers. I accidentally brought home a certain set of keys that I think cost about $10,000 to replace. I intended to return them, but forget. Last night I remembered because I needed them today. I searched through my bag BUT THEY WERE GONE! I freaked out. Ten grand worth of keys is a lot to misplace. Sam helped me go through my bag again. I then said something like, "Dear God, please let me find them". For some reason my fuzzy snotty (I have a cold) mind went instantly to "it's in your laptop case. You were going to take it to work" and there it was. YAY!
2. Today I was finishing setting up my painful experiment of doom. Two Fridays ago I got rained on, hailed on, covered in leeches and I think I had hypothermia. Today the weather was pleasant. It started getting cloudy towards midday, and praise God! It didn't rain or hail until we were in the car and on the way back to uni!
3. Without going into details, I thought past issues with my family had caused me to have a twisted mindset with regards to something in particular. It was reaching the point where I kept condemning myself for something which logically and even morally speaking is completely fine. I then recently discovered that this twisted mindset was not due to my family, but due to improper teaching by the church, which they have now apparently rectified (and yet failed to tell anyone so people still believing what was once taught will feel just as self-condemning and just as much a failure as me). This means that it is a more short-term (rather than long-term) mindset I need to readjust (which is easier), and it is not my screwed up family's fault! It makes it easier to bear, the self-condemnation makes more sense in this context (it was hard to understand why my family's issues would make me feel this way), and it has given me greater insight into why I seem to be on a different page to others. Yay! Thank you God for somehow letting me know the truth.
4. I thought I just lost my phone. I thought I left it on the bus. God prompted me to check my pocket, even though I couldn't feel anything in my pocket. It was in my pocket. X.x hehe, my brain is gone.
5. Our experiments haven't floated over the weir, or flooded. Pray they won't burn! It's meant to be a harsh fire season this year.
God is so good to me.
1. It's okay to be forgetful when your Father in heaven remembers. I accidentally brought home a certain set of keys that I think cost about $10,000 to replace. I intended to return them, but forget. Last night I remembered because I needed them today. I searched through my bag BUT THEY WERE GONE! I freaked out. Ten grand worth of keys is a lot to misplace. Sam helped me go through my bag again. I then said something like, "Dear God, please let me find them". For some reason my fuzzy snotty (I have a cold) mind went instantly to "it's in your laptop case. You were going to take it to work" and there it was. YAY!
2. Today I was finishing setting up my painful experiment of doom. Two Fridays ago I got rained on, hailed on, covered in leeches and I think I had hypothermia. Today the weather was pleasant. It started getting cloudy towards midday, and praise God! It didn't rain or hail until we were in the car and on the way back to uni!
3. Without going into details, I thought past issues with my family had caused me to have a twisted mindset with regards to something in particular. It was reaching the point where I kept condemning myself for something which logically and even morally speaking is completely fine. I then recently discovered that this twisted mindset was not due to my family, but due to improper teaching by the church, which they have now apparently rectified (and yet failed to tell anyone so people still believing what was once taught will feel just as self-condemning and just as much a failure as me). This means that it is a more short-term (rather than long-term) mindset I need to readjust (which is easier), and it is not my screwed up family's fault! It makes it easier to bear, the self-condemnation makes more sense in this context (it was hard to understand why my family's issues would make me feel this way), and it has given me greater insight into why I seem to be on a different page to others. Yay! Thank you God for somehow letting me know the truth.
4. I thought I just lost my phone. I thought I left it on the bus. God prompted me to check my pocket, even though I couldn't feel anything in my pocket. It was in my pocket. X.x hehe, my brain is gone.
5. Our experiments haven't floated over the weir, or flooded. Pray they won't burn! It's meant to be a harsh fire season this year.
God is so good to me.
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