At last!

The last four weeks have been really tough! Thankfully, I have survived (it was easier than I thought) and today is the last day! Tomorrow, oh precious tomorrow, I shall do exciting things accompanied by the sweet sounds of Muse, then Mew, then maybe some Death Cab and Dashboard Confessional, and while I'm listening to romantic acoustics I may as well play Secondhand Serenade. Oh my precious precious musics! I shall be listening to my lovely alternative/punk/emo/acoustic/indie/danish/rock/shoegaze/all my awesome cds!

You see, for four weeks I have seen my cds, and my mp3s, and my link to last.fm... and I have shown great self-restraint and not touched them! I gave up my music for four weeks!



But why?!!???!! Was I abstaining from the beloved music for a higher purpose i.e. God?

Yes... and no. I didn't give it up because I was seeking God (kind of like fasting). It was more of an experiment. So let me set it out like an experiment.

NOTE- I am not testing God. I am testing myself. After all, I'm a mouse, and mouses are goods for the experiments and goods for the bads englishes.

Introduction- I love music. And admittedly the music I listen to isn't always the "nice" type. I tend to listen to music that really moves me, for whatever reason, and in a lot of ways it's almost an emotional dependence on music. I listen to songs to get an instant emotional hit, and music has a high priority in my life. I listen to it when I catch public transport. I listen to it at work sometimes. I listen to it when I play on the internets. I often listen to music that matches my emotional state or situation. And I know that music can be very influential, even dangerously so, because it really speaks to you in a way that words and images fail.

Hypothesis- I will be able to hear God better when I'm not listening to music, and my "emotional state" will be improved (i.e. happier- I listen to a lot of sad music).

Aims- To determine if I can go without listening to my secular music.
To identify if music is affecting my ability to seek and hear God.
To identify the impact music has on my emotional state.

Methods- Basically, I avoided listening to my music. This included music videos.

Results and discussion- The first three weeks was really easy. The last week has been a nightmare. I've been constantly plagued by the need to listen to music. I think of certain songs I'm almost dying to hear. I desire to sing along and try to play them on bass or even try learning guitar. I suspect it may be because the last few weeks I've been pretty ill, and all my illness + personal issues + work issues = I feel moody and tired and grumpy and wants meh muziks!

My walk with God has been pretty good. Although sometimes it has been pretty bad. I don't think my ability to hear God has improved, but I do desire to spend more time with Him without needing to "be in the right mood" or wanting that emotional hit from Him (and being subsequently disappointed if I don't get it). This is good.

Emotionally, I'm still as demented as ever. The feelings haven't really changed, so I suspect the music I listen to doesn't cause my feelings; rather, it amplifies them. This is because if I'm sad I tend to listen to sad music, or if I'm angry I listen to angry music, or if I'm sleazy... okay, just joshing about that one =D My point is I listen to music that I "relate to" which feeds my emotional state and possibly heightens it.

Conclusions- I love my music. And it's still an important part of my life. But (excluding the music binge of tomorrow) I plan on listening to it less and being less emotionally dependant on it. I love it but I don't need it and I can go without it. However, I do need God, and thankfully He is someone I can turn to in any state or frame of mind, and His influence on my life will always be good.