"The zombies are attacking! What do I do?"
If I had five cents for everytime someone asked me this, someone's boyfriend would be watching the Hannah Montana movie. Like everyone, I too have zombie issues. Some things just die hard. But I don't let the zombie plague get me down. If life gives you lemons, make lemon meringue pie. If life gives you zombies, make zombie pie. That's my motto. There is nothing quite like fresh zombie to add flavour to any meal. Here is a pretty simple zombie recipe you can use to impress your friends/subordinates.
Ingredients (items in parentheses are for those who don't like zombie)
-6 zombie eggs (chicken eggs)
-1 or 2 zucchinis
-1 or 2 medium sized carrots
-milk
-zombie skin (pastry)
-cured zombie pieces (bacon- optional)
-cheese
-olive oil/oil/butter/whatever
-pepper and salt
Procedure
1. Gather some villagers and kill ye a zombie. Use a shotgun. Knives are not effective. Alternatively, visit your local supermarkert and purchase ingredients.
2. Using the oil/butter/whatever you want, grease a large oven-proof dish. Line the dish with pastry (I used puff pastry because I love puff pastry), and then brush oil or whatever over this pastry. I wrote this in bold because it is important you don't forget.
3. Cover the pastry in aluminium foil, and then fill the dish with pasta or rice or beans or something heavy and dry. Put the dish in a preheated oven at around 180degrees C. This is blind baking, and what it does is start cooking the pastry without letting it rise. Remove after 10-20 minutes.
4. Meanwhile, wash and then grate the carrots and zucchini. You can also add chopped onion. Finely chop some cured zombie pieces, and combine all of these in a large bowl. Add the 6 zombie eggs and some milk (I don't recall how much milk I added. Pretend you're making scrambled eggs with 6 eggs, and probably add about that much). Also grate some cheese and mix this in. Add pepper and salt too. Yay!
5. When you've finished blind baking carefully remove the foil + the pasta from the dish. You should have nice, flat, not-so-raw pastry in the dish. Add the zombie mixture and evenly spread it out.
6. Put it back in the oven. I think I put it in for 20 minutes. Might have been longer. Keep checking it until it is all golden and looks like a quiche.
7. And then you are finished. Make sure you wash the dishes. Good kid.
Tips for young players
1. Open each egg separately in a small bowl before adding it to your grated vegetables. This way you can check for (and remove) egg shell.
2. If you want to be clever you can add nutmeg. I did. After I added cinnamon. I didn't mean to add cinnamon. I forgot what I was doing for a second and just added it. Oops.
3. You can substitute some of the milk with cream if you want a richer quiche.
4. You can add a lot of other things. Mushrooms, tomatoes, spinach, children, cats... be creative.
5. Do NOT make friends with the zombies. It's really hard to kill them when you're emotionally attached. It's best not to make friends with your food.
6. Zombie sightings are more frequent in bad weather.
Happy hunting!
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