I've just returned from a short holiday where I went back to my family. While I was there I went through some boxes of my old stuff. I threw out a few things that I know are displeasing to God. I also packed a box of items with things I no longer wanted. I left this box near the bed and forgot about it.
That night I read from my bible before sleeping. I fell asleep with my bible and my phone next to me on the bed (the bed is a double). The next morning a text message sent to my phone woke me from a strange dream. I reached for the phone and couldn't find it. Sitting up, I was shocked to discover the my phone and bible were hidden...
... by stuff from the box of unwanted items...
... that were most definitely not on my bed when I went to sleep.
Someone had gone through the box and placed a few things on the bed while I was sleeping.
How did they get there? My family had no idea when I asked them. And I most certainly didn't do it while awake. Did I do it in my sleep? Normally if I do stuff in my sleep (such as getting out of bed because I think the roof is caving in) I wake myself up. I'm pretty sure I would have woken myself going through the stuff, if only because the room is crowded so I would have bumped into things. And I probably would have made a mess doing it.
This is weird. I don't like it.
Showing posts with label strange. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strange. Show all posts
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Dreams
This post has been a while in the making.
When people talk about prophetic dreams listeners’ hackles go up and people become wary, sceptical and defensive. Same! It isn’t that I don’t think God can’t speak through dreams. He can! Look at Joseph. I just find it difficult to know how that person can be so sure the dream is from God.
The thing is I frequently have extremely vivid dreams, and recent dreams (within the last few years) have made me begin to wonder if God is perhaps trying to tell me stuff. Several of the dreams could perhaps easily be described as “prophetic”, but are they from God or from somewhere else? I find it hard to believe they’re from God for this reason:
As a little atheist child, I had “prophetic dreams”. The one I remember most clearly was of a bridge collapsing under a passenger train (I had lots of bad dreams). I woke up, and too scared to sleep, I got up. My Dad, a stupidly early riser, was already up watching the early morning news. I sat to watch it with him, and there, on the tv, was a story about a train accident in Europe involving a bridge collapse.
My point is that when you sleep you are incredibly vulnerable. Sleep isn’t just a time when you’re still enough for God to speak, it’s also a time when the enemy can easily get in. I cannot say for certain that God didn’t give me the train accident dream, but I struggle to understand why God would reveal something like that to an imaginative, fearful child that would add to her fear. Further suspicions that make me think perhaps God wasn’t involved include:
-this led me to a fascination with dreams and other occultic bizarreness in my teenage years.
-my Mum (non-Christian) also had a similar experience involving a bus crash and she awoke crying. Could it be from a spirit that has attached itself to my family, or a generational curse, or the product of my great grandmother playing around with this sort of thing?
Given all this plus the fact that I frequently have strange dreams, nightmares and freaky sleeping experiences (maybe I’ll describe these another time), I found it difficult to trust that my “prophetic dreams” are from God. I was convinced this was not a safe way for God to speak to me, therefore He wouldn’t and He would stick to better paths of communication.
It is presumptuous and wrong to think God would be limited by this. And some of my dreams suggest that maybe God has been speaking to me in my sleep. Possible evidence:
a. I was home on holiday and I dreamt of my Dad dying. I woke up sobbing and felt the urge to pray for him. The following day he came over (he never came over- at the time Mum and he weren’t on good terms). His arms were covered in massive cuts. Apparently he had cut himself and was sitting on the bridge contemplating suicide when the police found him. This occurred in the early hours, about the time I had the dream.
b. I kept dreaming of houses falling apart, particularly while I was inside. Not long after a piece of ceiling fell on my colleague’s bed (thankfully he was on holiday), and Melbourne started experiencing earth tremors.
c. I previously posted of a dream starting with my experiments and ending with a tidal wave. Not long after, my experiments kept getting flooded out by heavy rain, and there were earth quakes and devastating tidal waves in the south Pacific islands.
d. For a while I kept dreaming that someone would break into our house. I attributed this to paranoia and fear. Last Friday someone broke in and stole some of our valuables. I was shaken, but not surprised, and now I wish I’d prayed more about it.
I’ve also had other dreams that evoke the same feelings of fear. Three notable examples include watching Melbourne be destroyed by electric storms, watching a massive storm come upon Sydney, and watching severe storms pass overhead that resulted in flooding and the death of three kids in regional NSW.
Are these prophetic? In fact, how can I be sure any of these are from God? It’s hard to say, because all of these dreams have filled me with incredible fear (with the exception of the one involving Dad- that was more overwhelming sadness). Such a fear shouldn’t come from God, right?
I don’t know. This is something I should seriously look into, and until I’m sure what is going on, I should perhaps approach my dreams without scepticism or fear, but with caution and prayer. It never hurts to pray.
When people talk about prophetic dreams listeners’ hackles go up and people become wary, sceptical and defensive. Same! It isn’t that I don’t think God can’t speak through dreams. He can! Look at Joseph. I just find it difficult to know how that person can be so sure the dream is from God.
The thing is I frequently have extremely vivid dreams, and recent dreams (within the last few years) have made me begin to wonder if God is perhaps trying to tell me stuff. Several of the dreams could perhaps easily be described as “prophetic”, but are they from God or from somewhere else? I find it hard to believe they’re from God for this reason:
As a little atheist child, I had “prophetic dreams”. The one I remember most clearly was of a bridge collapsing under a passenger train (I had lots of bad dreams). I woke up, and too scared to sleep, I got up. My Dad, a stupidly early riser, was already up watching the early morning news. I sat to watch it with him, and there, on the tv, was a story about a train accident in Europe involving a bridge collapse.
My point is that when you sleep you are incredibly vulnerable. Sleep isn’t just a time when you’re still enough for God to speak, it’s also a time when the enemy can easily get in. I cannot say for certain that God didn’t give me the train accident dream, but I struggle to understand why God would reveal something like that to an imaginative, fearful child that would add to her fear. Further suspicions that make me think perhaps God wasn’t involved include:
-this led me to a fascination with dreams and other occultic bizarreness in my teenage years.
-my Mum (non-Christian) also had a similar experience involving a bus crash and she awoke crying. Could it be from a spirit that has attached itself to my family, or a generational curse, or the product of my great grandmother playing around with this sort of thing?
Given all this plus the fact that I frequently have strange dreams, nightmares and freaky sleeping experiences (maybe I’ll describe these another time), I found it difficult to trust that my “prophetic dreams” are from God. I was convinced this was not a safe way for God to speak to me, therefore He wouldn’t and He would stick to better paths of communication.
It is presumptuous and wrong to think God would be limited by this. And some of my dreams suggest that maybe God has been speaking to me in my sleep. Possible evidence:
a. I was home on holiday and I dreamt of my Dad dying. I woke up sobbing and felt the urge to pray for him. The following day he came over (he never came over- at the time Mum and he weren’t on good terms). His arms were covered in massive cuts. Apparently he had cut himself and was sitting on the bridge contemplating suicide when the police found him. This occurred in the early hours, about the time I had the dream.
b. I kept dreaming of houses falling apart, particularly while I was inside. Not long after a piece of ceiling fell on my colleague’s bed (thankfully he was on holiday), and Melbourne started experiencing earth tremors.
c. I previously posted of a dream starting with my experiments and ending with a tidal wave. Not long after, my experiments kept getting flooded out by heavy rain, and there were earth quakes and devastating tidal waves in the south Pacific islands.
d. For a while I kept dreaming that someone would break into our house. I attributed this to paranoia and fear. Last Friday someone broke in and stole some of our valuables. I was shaken, but not surprised, and now I wish I’d prayed more about it.
I’ve also had other dreams that evoke the same feelings of fear. Three notable examples include watching Melbourne be destroyed by electric storms, watching a massive storm come upon Sydney, and watching severe storms pass overhead that resulted in flooding and the death of three kids in regional NSW.
Are these prophetic? In fact, how can I be sure any of these are from God? It’s hard to say, because all of these dreams have filled me with incredible fear (with the exception of the one involving Dad- that was more overwhelming sadness). Such a fear shouldn’t come from God, right?
I don’t know. This is something I should seriously look into, and until I’m sure what is going on, I should perhaps approach my dreams without scepticism or fear, but with caution and prayer. It never hurts to pray.
Friday, October 23, 2009
At last!
The last four weeks have been really tough! Thankfully, I have survived (it was easier than I thought) and today is the last day! Tomorrow, oh precious tomorrow, I shall do exciting things accompanied by the sweet sounds of Muse, then Mew, then maybe some Death Cab and Dashboard Confessional, and while I'm listening to romantic acoustics I may as well play Secondhand Serenade. Oh my precious precious musics! I shall be listening to my lovely alternative/punk/emo/acoustic/indie/danish/rock/shoegaze/all my awesome cds!
You see, for four weeks I have seen my cds, and my mp3s, and my link to last.fm... and I have shown great self-restraint and not touched them! I gave up my music for four weeks!
But why?!!???!! Was I abstaining from the beloved music for a higher purpose i.e. God?
Yes... and no. I didn't give it up because I was seeking God (kind of like fasting). It was more of an experiment. So let me set it out like an experiment.
NOTE- I am not testing God. I am testing myself. After all, I'm a mouse, and mouses are goods for the experiments and goods for the bads englishes.
Introduction- I love music. And admittedly the music I listen to isn't always the "nice" type. I tend to listen to music that really moves me, for whatever reason, and in a lot of ways it's almost an emotional dependence on music. I listen to songs to get an instant emotional hit, and music has a high priority in my life. I listen to it when I catch public transport. I listen to it at work sometimes. I listen to it when I play on the internets. I often listen to music that matches my emotional state or situation. And I know that music can be very influential, even dangerously so, because it really speaks to you in a way that words and images fail.
Hypothesis- I will be able to hear God better when I'm not listening to music, and my "emotional state" will be improved (i.e. happier- I listen to a lot of sad music).
Aims- To determine if I can go without listening to my secular music.
To identify if music is affecting my ability to seek and hear God.
To identify the impact music has on my emotional state.
Methods- Basically, I avoided listening to my music. This included music videos.
Results and discussion- The first three weeks was really easy. The last week has been a nightmare. I've been constantly plagued by the need to listen to music. I think of certain songs I'm almost dying to hear. I desire to sing along and try to play them on bass or even try learning guitar. I suspect it may be because the last few weeks I've been pretty ill, and all my illness + personal issues + work issues = I feel moody and tired and grumpy and wants meh muziks!
My walk with God has been pretty good. Although sometimes it has been pretty bad. I don't think my ability to hear God has improved, but I do desire to spend more time with Him without needing to "be in the right mood" or wanting that emotional hit from Him (and being subsequently disappointed if I don't get it). This is good.
Emotionally, I'm still as demented as ever. The feelings haven't really changed, so I suspect the music I listen to doesn't cause my feelings; rather, it amplifies them. This is because if I'm sad I tend to listen to sad music, or if I'm angry I listen to angry music, or if I'm sleazy... okay, just joshing about that one =D My point is I listen to music that I "relate to" which feeds my emotional state and possibly heightens it.
Conclusions- I love my music. And it's still an important part of my life. But (excluding the music binge of tomorrow) I plan on listening to it less and being less emotionally dependant on it. I love it but I don't need it and I can go without it. However, I do need God, and thankfully He is someone I can turn to in any state or frame of mind, and His influence on my life will always be good.
You see, for four weeks I have seen my cds, and my mp3s, and my link to last.fm... and I have shown great self-restraint and not touched them! I gave up my music for four weeks!
But why?!!???!! Was I abstaining from the beloved music for a higher purpose i.e. God?
Yes... and no. I didn't give it up because I was seeking God (kind of like fasting). It was more of an experiment. So let me set it out like an experiment.
NOTE- I am not testing God. I am testing myself. After all, I'm a mouse, and mouses are goods for the experiments and goods for the bads englishes.
Introduction- I love music. And admittedly the music I listen to isn't always the "nice" type. I tend to listen to music that really moves me, for whatever reason, and in a lot of ways it's almost an emotional dependence on music. I listen to songs to get an instant emotional hit, and music has a high priority in my life. I listen to it when I catch public transport. I listen to it at work sometimes. I listen to it when I play on the internets. I often listen to music that matches my emotional state or situation. And I know that music can be very influential, even dangerously so, because it really speaks to you in a way that words and images fail.
Hypothesis- I will be able to hear God better when I'm not listening to music, and my "emotional state" will be improved (i.e. happier- I listen to a lot of sad music).
Aims- To determine if I can go without listening to my secular music.
To identify if music is affecting my ability to seek and hear God.
To identify the impact music has on my emotional state.
Methods- Basically, I avoided listening to my music. This included music videos.
Results and discussion- The first three weeks was really easy. The last week has been a nightmare. I've been constantly plagued by the need to listen to music. I think of certain songs I'm almost dying to hear. I desire to sing along and try to play them on bass or even try learning guitar. I suspect it may be because the last few weeks I've been pretty ill, and all my illness + personal issues + work issues = I feel moody and tired and grumpy and wants meh muziks!
My walk with God has been pretty good. Although sometimes it has been pretty bad. I don't think my ability to hear God has improved, but I do desire to spend more time with Him without needing to "be in the right mood" or wanting that emotional hit from Him (and being subsequently disappointed if I don't get it). This is good.
Emotionally, I'm still as demented as ever. The feelings haven't really changed, so I suspect the music I listen to doesn't cause my feelings; rather, it amplifies them. This is because if I'm sad I tend to listen to sad music, or if I'm angry I listen to angry music, or if I'm sleazy... okay, just joshing about that one =D My point is I listen to music that I "relate to" which feeds my emotional state and possibly heightens it.
Conclusions- I love my music. And it's still an important part of my life. But (excluding the music binge of tomorrow) I plan on listening to it less and being less emotionally dependant on it. I love it but I don't need it and I can go without it. However, I do need God, and thankfully He is someone I can turn to in any state or frame of mind, and His influence on my life will always be good.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Kallie's ark... err... bedroom!
This is an account of all of the creatures that slept in Kallie's room the other night (that she knows of):
- 100+ silkworms
- unknown quantity of aphids
- 4 ladybug larvae
- 2 stick insects
- teddies (Remus, Hendrik, Fredrik, Petruchio, Pingu the Burnt, Plucka)
- Desperado
- Kallie
Her excuse? It was too cold for them outside.
And because I haven't done one of these in ages:
That's right. I'm special.
- 100+ silkworms
- unknown quantity of aphids
- 4 ladybug larvae
- 2 stick insects
- teddies (Remus, Hendrik, Fredrik, Petruchio, Pingu the Burnt, Plucka)
- Desperado
- Kallie
Her excuse? It was too cold for them outside.
And because I haven't done one of these in ages:
| What type of insect are you? Firefly You may seem drab and uninteresting to other people, but in reality you have amazing hidden talents. |
| Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests. |
That's right. I'm special.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Not everyone can keep their marbles.
Someone has lost their mind.
Again.
Someone put carrot peelings in the fridge.
Someone intended to put them in the rubbish bin.
Clearly, the rubbish bin and the fridge have a lot of similarities.
At least this time she didn't put chewing gum in the freezer. Or pepper in the fridge. Or commit other bizarre acts of absent-mindedness.
Again.
Someone put carrot peelings in the fridge.
Someone intended to put them in the rubbish bin.
Clearly, the rubbish bin and the fridge have a lot of similarities.
At least this time she didn't put chewing gum in the freezer. Or pepper in the fridge. Or commit other bizarre acts of absent-mindedness.
Friday, September 11, 2009
It's a boy! And a girl! And stuff!
Congratulations to Sam, who is the delighted mother of 10+ babies, each weighing a healthy 2-5g! Their proud father, Kallie, was shocked by their arrival into the world.
"I didn't even realise Sam was bringing them home," she grinned. "They're very beautiful. Some are stripey. It's awesome."
I questioned how this growing abnormal family planned on functioning.
"It's harder than with stick insects. I mean, the boys were easy to provide for. I fed them. Sam educated them. Our new babies are a lot fussier, so it means we both have to work to meet their needs. I imagine Sam will still take them to school. I'll read them Thomas books!"
Photos of the new arrivals to follow soon.
"I didn't even realise Sam was bringing them home," she grinned. "They're very beautiful. Some are stripey. It's awesome."
I questioned how this growing abnormal family planned on functioning.
"It's harder than with stick insects. I mean, the boys were easy to provide for. I fed them. Sam educated them. Our new babies are a lot fussier, so it means we both have to work to meet their needs. I imagine Sam will still take them to school. I'll read them Thomas books!"
Photos of the new arrivals to follow soon.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Okay, I admit this is stranger
This is mostly in response to observations made by Sam.
Observation 1
To me the letter A looks black. Just like all letters look black.
Sam, you're missing out. Seriously. Which isn't a badly coloured word. Word, on the other hand, isn't such a nice colour.
Observation 2
Samantha has yucky colours. I don't like green.
Actually, while there are a lot of green letters in Samantha, when I think of the word as a whole it is a blue word. Samantha is a blue word. I think the first letter of a word, or the stronger letters in a word, or where the accent is in a word, dominates the overall appearance of the word.
You see black. I see blue, but really it's blues, black and green.
Another example is Sunday.
If we accent the word so that you say it as SUNday it looks like:
while if you accent it so it sounds like sunDAY it looks like:
For some reason the letters U, V, X, and Z are all differing shades of grey. Maybe whenever this weird association thing happened in my head I didn't get much exposure to these letters so they didn't get other colours.
Yes, so now you know all this wonderful information.
Observation 1
To me the letter A looks black. Just like all letters look black.
Sam, you're missing out. Seriously. Which isn't a badly coloured word. Word, on the other hand, isn't such a nice colour.
Observation 2
Samantha has yucky colours. I don't like green.
Actually, while there are a lot of green letters in Samantha, when I think of the word as a whole it is a blue word. Samantha is a blue word. I think the first letter of a word, or the stronger letters in a word, or where the accent is in a word, dominates the overall appearance of the word.
You see black. I see blue, but really it's blues, black and green.
Another example is Sunday.
If we accent the word so that you say it as SUNday it looks like:
while if you accent it so it sounds like sunDAY it looks like:
For some reason the letters U, V, X, and Z are all differing shades of grey. Maybe whenever this weird association thing happened in my head I didn't get much exposure to these letters so they didn't get other colours.
Yes, so now you know all this wonderful information.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Okay, I admit I'm strange
Before we get to that, let me ask you a couple of questions.
Do you see numbers in colours? What about letters?
If you're reading that and you haven't figured out what I mean, then I'm guessing you don't. What I asked didn't make sense to you, right?
Well, to me it made a lot of sense. If someone asked me that I would know exactly what they were talking about. You see, I see numbers and letters in colours. I think it's something I've always done, and up until a couple of mouse years ago I never questioned this, assuming everyone else did the same. Then I discovered that not many people actually do. Most people I asked would stare at me blankly and get confused while I struggled to explain it. Then they would think about it. Then they would answer, "Err... no." I have only ever met one other person who can do it- Rebecca- but she's a special case in that she taught herself to see the colours while at uni.
By now you're thinking, "Desperado has lost the plot." I never had the plot. Anyway, let me explain what normally happens to me. Let's say we examine the word mouse.
You probably see it as:
I see it kind of like:
I don't consciously make the letters and numbers change colour. They just have colour. And the colours are consistent. For example, my favourite number 8 is always green. B is always red. How nice I find a word depends on its colours.
Kallie is awful. Too much yellow and pink. The background is black so you can see the white i.
Rebecca also has too much yellow and pink.
Samantha looks better. I like green.
There is a neurological phenomenon called synesthaesia, where the stimulation of one sensory pathway causes an involuntary experience in another. For instance, some people hear a sound which causes them to see a particular colour. More strangely, some people hear a certain word or phoneme and it causes them to taste things, like the sound f tastes like sherbert. There are many types of synesthaesia. One of the most common is grapheme->colour synesthaesia, where letters and numbers are shaded or tinged with different colours. It is involuntary and the colours are consistent.
I'm not sure, but I don't think I have grapheme->colour synesthaesia. Yes, I don't voluntarily make myself see letters as colours, and yes, the colours are always consistent for particular letters or numbers.
I did a lengthy online test to find out if I had synesthaesia. My score suggested that I have grapheme->colour synesthaesia.
Score:
Synesthaesia: < 1.0
Normal memory/association: around 2
Desperado: 0.54
Accuracy:
Synesthetic: 85-100%
Non-synesthetic: < 85%
Desperado: 98.61%
I'm still not convinced. It still might have been a memory thing. If I do have synesthaesia I must not have it strongly. It doesn't affect my life in any way, and unless I'm paying attention most of the time I don't even notice that the black letters are coloured. Possibly I just associate letters with colours. Maybe Sesame Street's letter of the week had a big impact on me as a kid.
Regardless, it's still pretty cool and interesting. So, what colour is the letter A to you? =)
Do you see numbers in colours? What about letters?
If you're reading that and you haven't figured out what I mean, then I'm guessing you don't. What I asked didn't make sense to you, right?
Well, to me it made a lot of sense. If someone asked me that I would know exactly what they were talking about. You see, I see numbers and letters in colours. I think it's something I've always done, and up until a couple of mouse years ago I never questioned this, assuming everyone else did the same. Then I discovered that not many people actually do. Most people I asked would stare at me blankly and get confused while I struggled to explain it. Then they would think about it. Then they would answer, "Err... no." I have only ever met one other person who can do it- Rebecca- but she's a special case in that she taught herself to see the colours while at uni.
By now you're thinking, "Desperado has lost the plot." I never had the plot. Anyway, let me explain what normally happens to me. Let's say we examine the word mouse.
You probably see it as:
I see it kind of like:
I don't consciously make the letters and numbers change colour. They just have colour. And the colours are consistent. For example, my favourite number 8 is always green. B is always red. How nice I find a word depends on its colours.
Kallie is awful. Too much yellow and pink. The background is black so you can see the white i.
Rebecca also has too much yellow and pink.
Samantha looks better. I like green.
There is a neurological phenomenon called synesthaesia, where the stimulation of one sensory pathway causes an involuntary experience in another. For instance, some people hear a sound which causes them to see a particular colour. More strangely, some people hear a certain word or phoneme and it causes them to taste things, like the sound f tastes like sherbert. There are many types of synesthaesia. One of the most common is grapheme->colour synesthaesia, where letters and numbers are shaded or tinged with different colours. It is involuntary and the colours are consistent.
I'm not sure, but I don't think I have grapheme->colour synesthaesia. Yes, I don't voluntarily make myself see letters as colours, and yes, the colours are always consistent for particular letters or numbers.
I did a lengthy online test to find out if I had synesthaesia. My score suggested that I have grapheme->colour synesthaesia.
Score:
Synesthaesia: < 1.0
Normal memory/association: around 2
Desperado: 0.54
Accuracy:
Synesthetic: 85-100%
Non-synesthetic: < 85%
Desperado: 98.61%
I'm still not convinced. It still might have been a memory thing. If I do have synesthaesia I must not have it strongly. It doesn't affect my life in any way, and unless I'm paying attention most of the time I don't even notice that the black letters are coloured. Possibly I just associate letters with colours. Maybe Sesame Street's letter of the week had a big impact on me as a kid.
Regardless, it's still pretty cool and interesting. So, what colour is the letter A to you? =)
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