Goodbye Desperado

This is the last post of Desperado, and it was a hard decision to make but I guess mice don't live long, even on the internet.

I think the last post really made it clear to me that this was the end. Desperado was supposed to be the voice of silliness, adventure, fun and poetry, at least I was at the beginning. It didn't turn out that way though. I was intended as a mask to hide behind, and there was meant to be freedom in writing behind a mouse, but it stopped happening. It has become restrictive, and that's why I'm struggling to write new posts.

I represented a sometimes fun but mostly stressful part of some girl's life. Now her life has changed, and the things she can write about are probably not appropriate for a male mouse to be saying. That being said, the things she also DID write about were also probably not appropriate.

Things have changed and she is going into a new part of her life... new house, new commitments, and the leaving behind of bad experiences. It's seems like a good time to live Desperado behind as well.

It's been fun.

The real Desperado can now be viewed here.

Mental blank

Last night I wanted to post something. So I sat here, staring at the screen, waiting for some inspiration... and of course nothing happened. I couldn't think of anything to type. And I decided that posting for the sake of posting wasn't a good reason to post.

I think my motive for posting something could be that several people I know update frequently, even just with little things, and I quite like checking their stuff (whereas other people I know NEVER seem to update, and this makes me sad 'cos I want to read their posts!!!)

So, stupidly enough, I'm posting about a lack of things to post about. I seriously can't think of anything. Should I post about life events? Not much happening there. My walk with God? It doesn't feel right to share that right now. People in my life? My emotions? My problems? My joys? My opinions? The terrible dreams I have been having?

I can't. Lately I have spent 8 hours a day, 5 days a week thinking and writing for uni. Then I come home and need to think and write some more for other things, and by the time I'm done there's nothing left. All I can do is brain-dead things because I need a break from thinking. I don't even feel like drawing or taking photos anymore.

This is unacceptable. I want my creative mind back.

News updates

Yeah, stuff has been happening. I feel like I need to do a decent post, but I can't think of anything to write so here is some filler until then.

- I went home for a week (I was advised to have 3 months off by the postgrad coordinator... I'm struggling to find time to take a week off)

- I tried (and failed) to share Christ with my family. It didn't help that every serious conversation I had with my Mum revolved around how skinny/sick I am and how I need to fix this (she was preoccupied with my health). I will keep praying for them.

- I feel homesick. I really didn't want to come back to Melbourne.

- We are moving soon. Something to do with demolition people and us being poor. Yay! Hopefully I can start saving some money again.

- I eat like a horse. This is a good thing. I really cannot lose any more weight without ending up in hospital.

- Daniel's diet looks awesome compared to what I'm now living on. No lactose (goodbye precious cheese), no onion or spring onion, reduced spices, reduced garlic, no high fructose (including apples, mangoes and other fruits), reduced sugar, no food containing yeast or fungus (bread, vegemite and friends and mushrooms), no fermented food (this includes alcohol, vinegar etc), no soy or products containing soy (including chocolate), reduced refined carbs, no peanuts, etc etc IT IS SO SAD! WHAT IS THERE LEFT FOR ME TO EAT EXCEPT LETTUCE?

- 20 scarves!?!!? Why was I so ambitious? Argh.

- Oh and err... more happily this happened:



... hee =D

Only I'm too shy to tell people. Almost makes me wish I had facebook.

Anyway, yay I posted.

Au revoir

Uneasy sleep

I've just returned from a short holiday where I went back to my family. While I was there I went through some boxes of my old stuff. I threw out a few things that I know are displeasing to God. I also packed a box of items with things I no longer wanted. I left this box near the bed and forgot about it.

That night I read from my bible before sleeping. I fell asleep with my bible and my phone next to me on the bed (the bed is a double). The next morning a text message sent to my phone woke me from a strange dream. I reached for the phone and couldn't find it. Sitting up, I was shocked to discover the my phone and bible were hidden...

... by stuff from the box of unwanted items...

... that were most definitely not on my bed when I went to sleep.

Someone had gone through the box and placed a few things on the bed while I was sleeping.

How did they get there? My family had no idea when I asked them. And I most certainly didn't do it while awake. Did I do it in my sleep? Normally if I do stuff in my sleep (such as getting out of bed because I think the roof is caving in) I wake myself up. I'm pretty sure I would have woken myself going through the stuff, if only because the room is crowded so I would have bumped into things. And I probably would have made a mess doing it.

This is weird. I don't like it.